The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer...

     It's hard for me to believe, but Christmas is less than a week away! In honor of this joyous season, I have decided once again to take a little break from PA-related topics and share some of the music I'm enjoying this holiday season. This year I actually figured out how to create a playlist with some of the music so you can actually listen to some of my suggestions without even leaving this page. Neato, right? Also, should you like what you hear, I've provided links for each of the fours albums I'm highlighting. So, without further ado, here are the albums I'm listening to this year:

     First and foremost is The Oh Hellos' Family Christmas album. I discovered The Oh Hellos last winter through their song Hello My Old Heart (a rather wonderful song) and eventually found both their EP and full-length album. Some of their songs took a little while to grow on me, but I think now I love just about all of them. I was incredibly excited when they hinted they might release a Christmas album and the result has not disappointed me. It's not exactly a traditional album, more like a mashup of favorite Christmas tunes arranged by theme, but I love it. I listened to it four times the day I got it. I can't promise everyone will like it as much as I do, but it's in the playlist, so give it a listen. If you like it, you can get it  (and their other albums) here: http://theohhellos.com/Store
     If you like the sound of The Oh Hellos, but are interested in individual Christmas songs done in a similar style, look no further than Tyler Heath's A Christmas Album. Tyler is the brother in the brother-sister duo that make up The Oh Hellos and a few years back he released a solo Christmas album. I couldn't find the album on SoundCloud to add to the playlist, but it's pretty excellent, and if you go to the link, you can not only listen to the entire album, but also get it for free! It's a win-win. http://tylerheath.net/album/a-christmas-album
     Last year's list featured at least one song by the Piano Guys. This year they released an entire album, called A Family Christmas. If you've never heard of them before, the Piano Guys are an amazing pianist, cellist, and their team who came together to make awesome videos of great music. They have certainly succeeded. They have two other full-length albums besides their new Christmas album, and all the music is so lovely. Some are new arrangements of old tunes or covers of popular songs or mashups of new songs with classical hits (like the absolute stunning Code Name Vivaldi and Beethoven's 5 Secrets), and some are completely original songs. The videos are just as good (they once filmed on the Great Wall of China). If you've never listened to them before, or watched any of their videos, you really should. I couldn't pick just one video of theirs to include with this post, so here's two of their Christmas ones: 

Also, here's the link to buy their Christmas album: https://thepianoguys.com/shop/albums
      Lastly, I've included some Christmas songs from Lindsey Stirling as well. She has not yet released a full Christmas album, but each year she tends to release at least one new Christmas song. So far she has covered Silent Night, What Child Is This?, and Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel, as well as released her original song Celtic Carol. She's an extremely talented and creative violinist, as well as very fun to watch. Her videos are also quite entertaining and it's no surprise that she and the Piano Guys teamed up to create a Mission: Impossible Mashup. Because she doesn't have a full Christmas album yet, her songs are a bit trickier to get. Most of her music is on iTunes, but for some reason all her Christmas covers can only be found through her online store here: http://lindseystirling.mybigcommerce.com/music-singles-1/. And here's one of her fun videos: 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Finals Are Done!

     It's official. I'm done with my first semester of PA school! And, to make it even better, I passed all my exams, even pharmacology, and I made it to passing even before they added any curve, so I'm feeling a bit like this:




     Now, if you need me, here's what I'll be doing for the next few days...

Oh, and preparing to take a plane ride back to a magical place called Oregon of course. :D 

At Least My iPod is Ready for Pharmacology (4/30)

     I took a brief break from studying during lunch today to tweak my "pump up for exams" music playlist (every student should have one). SoundCloud didn't have all the songs I used, but here's a sampling of what I'll be listening as I head into my last, and most intense, final tomorrow morning. Now it's back to studying to make sure I can live up to this music and conquer pharmacology!

Oh Give Thanks

Quite chilly waiting for the sunrise on Monday.
This is frozen seawater.

     Ah November… I recently heard someone describe November as the Thursday of the year, and since I’m assuming they meant that as an insult, I have to disagree. I love November. I'll be sad when it's over tomorrow. Granted, I may be a bit biased since my birthday is at the beginning of this month, but even without that bias I think I’d still love November. It’s the month of true fall, or at least that’s how it seemed this year. In September and October, the leaves change color and are absolutely stunning, but the weather’s still fairly warm, the colors are vibrant, and the sun shines. November is the time when the world slows down and prepares for winter. It’s the time when you can finally bust out those hats, scarves, and mittens, and layers become a necessity as the weather turns cold. Snuggling up in a fluffy blanket with a cup of hot cocoa or cider becomes completely acceptable. The colors may not be bright and eye-grabbing, but the muted hues have a loveliness of their own. At home, and sometimes here as well, the fog rolls in, bringing a mysterious beauty to the mornings and evenings. Sure, November also brings an increase in the rain and gray, but I don’t mind that. I like the rainy days (though it is nicer to know ahead of time and not be surprised after you've already walked to work). For Americans, November also is the month when, at least for one day, we are encouraged to spend time with those we love and give thanks. Even though Thanksgiving was two days ago, feel like it's always appropriate to give thanks, so here are just a few things for which I'm grateful.

• Family and friends: I feel like this one's a given, but this year I have truly been blessed by loved ones both far and near. It was so nice to be at home last year and reconnect with everyone back there, and it has been just as nice to come back to the East Coast and spend time with friends over here. I not only get to live with two friends, but I also have family to visit and spend Thanksgiving with, which is pretty wonderful. Plus, this year I get to add to my family not once, but twice! First my sister married a charming fellow named Seth and I finally got a brother. Now my cousin is pregnant and due to have her second child is due in just a few days. If he's anywhere as adorable as his older brother we're all in danger of a cute overload. 
  
• Nature: Yet another area where I've been incredibly blessed. Both Oregon and Massachusetts are such lovely places. At home I lived in the country and was surrounded by nature from the moment I woke up. Here I am still surrounded, even in the city. You just have to know where to look. Also, it doesn't take long to drive beyond the reaches of the suburbs and find granite hills or colorful forests or ocean shores. I'm incredibly grateful to one of the girls from my program who told me about a new route to use to drive to the T. It's debatable whether or not it's faster, but instead of spending each morning being stressed out as I go through the shady part of Lynn and face stop lights, heavy traffic, and crazy jaywalkers, I now get to drive along the ocean and watch the lovely scenery go by. It's done wonders for improving my commuting experience. 

  

  Not many cities light off fireworks for Halloween. 

• Salem: I'm really enjoying life in this city. It's a bit quirky, and the tourists can get insane, especially around Halloween, but I like it. I think I still see myself settling down in the country one day, but for now I'm enjoying the city experience. My apartment mate just found the list of all the holiday events happening this month and I am pretty excited. 

  

  There's a good reason why my first three purchases
  for the apartment, and two of my DIY projects,
  had something to do with coffee: it's wonderful. 

• A job: I'm sure going through PA school without a job would be a bit easier time-wise (and I probably will have to cut back on hours or eventually quit as the program goes on), but I truly have enjoyed working and having a job. Part of it is the free coffee (yet another thing I'm very grateful for), but really it's the coworkers and the customers who make it worthwhile. I've been incredibly blessed to have great coworkers both in Oregon and in Massachusetts, and they make work very enjoyable for me. I miss my old coworkers, but I'll get to see some of them soon, and my new coworkers have made me feel very welcome. In fact, on my first day here I was told that my manager had an important question for me, and I was a bit nervous until she asked if I liked Harry Potter. She and my shift that day were quite pleased to hear that I do, and my shift welcomed me to the "nerd sanctuary," explaining that most of my new coworkers were big nerds who would love that I know and occasionally share rather random facts. The excitement when they learned that I have a Hobbit house in my backyard at home lasted for days. It's not just the other baristas who are awesome either. My managers at both stores have been wonderful and supportive of pursuit of PA school. Whether asking for time off for interviews or explaining that my availability may change suddenly due to classes or exams, they've both been considerate and willing to work with me to come up with the best solution. 
• PA school: Yes, it's tough. Yes, it can be frustrating. Yes, it's caused some tears. Despite all that though, it's worth it. I truly do enjoy it and the things I'm learning, and no matter what happens with pharmacology in just over a week, I know it's where I'm supposed to be. 

This list could be much longer, but it's my bedtime and tomorrow will be full of genetics studying so it's time to sign off. I hope everyone is having a lovely day and enjoying the little blessings we've all been given.

Just a lovely morning in northern Vermont. The sun is rising over the White Mountains in New Hampshire.

Be Still (3/30)

It feels a bit overdue, but today I finally have a new post. Part of the delay has been the busyness of school, but the bigger part is that, even though I have a couple in-progress posts I’ve been working on in spare moments for weeks, none of them seemed to fit where I am right at this moment and I needed to write one totally from scratch.

These last two weeks have been hard. Possibly the hardest time of the whole term. Multiple factors seemed to come together at just the right moment to make life extra difficult. From a brief illness to figuring out next semester to writing difficult emails to professors, all on top of school and regular life, it was a lot. Really though, the biggest problem was pharmacology.

This is my life now, and not just right before an exam.

Pharmacology continues to be the bane of my existence. I’ve never had so much trouble with a class before, and the problem seems to still be the rote memorization of the drugs and their multiple names because I usually understand the mechanism of the drugs just fine. For this last exam I’d studied so hard and when I finished I’d felt confident that I’d done well. Then I got my grade. I had indeed done much better than the last time, but I’d just barely missed passing. More frustrating was two days later when I was given the chance to see my exam and I discovered multiple stupid mistakes such as forgetting to fill in an answer bubble or misreading one word. On the one hand I was at least glad to realize that I’d actually known the answers for those questions, but that didn’t change the mistakes I’d made or the fact that they’d negatively affected my grade. To say I was upset would be an understatement. Looking at my grade average and figuring out what score I need to get on the final was like discovering an unexpected chasm in my PA journey, and one with no bridge in sight; there was just a deep, wide expanse. There were tears. Many, many tears.

Luckily my post does not end here. I am very blessed to have friends and family who encouraged me. They showed their love, sympathy, and support even across the distance. I appreciated all the uplifting words, though it was my old roommate who may have helped the most. She reminded me that, pass or fail, my identity is in Christ and is not dependent on my achievements as a PA student. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Obviously, I want to pass pharmacology and not have to repeat it next year, and frankly, this is an attainable goal. However, I do know that my value and identity will not be any less if I don’t pass. It would be lame. It would be more than lame. There would be a river of tears. But despite the pain and frustration, failing would not make me less of a child of God and that’s all that matters.

Whenever I struggle with remembering my identity or who is in control, it’s good to have something to remind me. Sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s events, and, for more than a year now, it’s often been music, one song in particular. On their last album, the band called The Fray included a song titled “Be Still.” This title is evocative of Psalm 46:10 which says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” While it’s not explicitly stated, the song can easily be seen as God speaking to and comforting His children. It’s not only a beautiful and peaceful song (I first heard it because I was having a panic attack before giving my thesis presentation and a friend suggested I listen to it to calm down), but it’s so encouraging. I’m linking the song so anyone can listen to it. Different parts of the lyrics have stood out to me at different times over this last year, but the overriding message that God is always there and in control no matter my feelings, has always been applicable and a comfort. I hope you all will find this song as much of a blessing as I have.

I have a couple positive notes before ending. On Wednesday I had the chance to remediate my pharmacology exam. This meant that I took another exam similar to the first one for the chance to bring my grade on that exam up to passing. Timing was not ideal since it came just one week after the first exam, and just two days after a genetics exam, and it was in the morning of the longest day, but I did it: I passed. Sure it only increased my grade by three points because no matter how well I did I could only bring my grade up to the minimum passing value, but I don’t really care. I’ve proved to myself at least that I do know the material and that I can do well on pharmacology exam again. Then, today I had a pathophysiology exam and I did better on this than any of the previous exams, so that’s a morale booster. Finally, this morning before the exam I got up early to watch the sunrise on my way to school. It was cold (14° plus wind chill) and I’d forgotten my gloves and scarf, but it was totally worth it. Not only was it beautiful, but it was a much needed reminder that the darkness doesn’t last. Whether my darkest time in PA school was a week ago, or whether it’s still coming, I know God’s in control and the light will follow. That being said, finals are during the second week of December, so I while I’ll try to get up another post during my break, I can guarantee that radio silence will be coming soon as I try to study like a maniac and blow that pharm final out of the water. 

Sunrise over the Atlantic
The city of Swampscott is to the left and you can just see Boston in the distance on the right.

A World Where There Are Octobers (2/30)

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." -Anne in L.M. Montgomery's Anne of Green Gables

     Last Friday was my White Coat Ceremony. At the ceremony, an alumni of the MCPHS PA program talked to us new students about what lay in store for us. He mentioned that, believe it or not, the program would go by quickly, probably faster than we thought. That might be true for some of the students, but for me this fact is already blatantly apparent. After all, we're already starting the second month out of thirty for this program, and this week marked the halfway point of this semester. Believe me, we students can feel the speed. For those of you trying to follow along, I’m going to start keeping track of my progress through the program with a little “____/30” indicator in some of my titles, and I’ll try to post at least once a month to keep up with this. 

Boston in the fall

     So, it's October. On the one hand, I completely agree with the quote I used to title this post. October is a lovely month, especially in New England. The leaves can be simply fabulous, and the weather is still warm enough that you can go outside and enjoy them. Also, unlike Oregon, the weather tends to be much sunnier in general, so there's less rain and more crunchy leaves to walk through. That's delightful. However, to enjoy all this beauty, you need to actually have time to go outside. It turns out that free time is not nearly as plentiful as the fall leaves. I'm finding that free time is a rare and beautiful thing I have to plan for, or grab as soon as it appears. 

After the White Coat Ceremony

In my first year at Gordon, I had a discussion one day with one of my bio teachers about balancing school and the rest of my life. I won’t get the quote word for word, but essentially he said, “You can be a good student and work hard, but still make time for friends and non-scholastic activities, and you won’t get everything done. On the other hand, you can be a good student, study all the time and cut out all extracurricular activities and people, and you STILL won't get everything done. So what do you want to do?” At the time those were exactly the words I needed to hear. As an introvert, withdrawing from people and becoming absorbed in work or other non-social activities can be an easy trap I fall into. This advice helped me greatly during my undergrad. The semester I spent abroad in Germany, where I eventually realized all my classes were pass/fail, further drove this point home and helped me start balancing my priorities and time so that my life was more balanced. This is still an important lesson for me as I sometimes still have to remind myself that life experiences can be just as important as book learning. That being said, I’ve had to rethink some things in grad school.

My undergrad advisor got to come to the ceremony

     A year between the end of undergrad and the beginning of the PA program was both a blessing and a curse. I can’t imagine having to finish my CASPA application and go to program interviews while simultaneously finishing my senior year of undergrad, and it was so nice to be home for a year. However, even with the EMT program I did last fall, I got out of practice with homework and all that jazz, and it’s taken a while to get back into the routine of reading assignments, discussion posts, attending classes, and taking exams. This wasn't helped by the fact that, frankly, this isn't undergrad. Most of my classes I only have twice each week, if that, and things move sooo quickly. It sometimes seems like there's not enough time to pause and take stock of what you're doing and where you need to go, but those moments of orientation are crucial. Otherwise you'll find yourself studying for an exam or working on an assignment and you'll be hit by a wave of panic as you realize just how much you have to do or learn. It's not pretty. 

     As I mentioned in my last post, some of the second year PA students told my class that October is the time when all the first years start crying. I think many of us thought they were joking or exaggerating. They weren't. There's a very simple reason for this. Projects are due in October, exams become more frequent, and the exams also become much more difficult. I think all of us realized this yesterday during our second pharmacology exam. It's pretty common knowledge that pharmacology is one of the most difficult classes of the PA program, but yesterday's exam was a doozy. The hardest thing about it, at least for me, was all the drugs and their names. If you know exactly how a drug works, its contraindications, and adverse effects, but you didn't learn the brand name and that's the one the teacher uses on the exam, then all the other knowledge doesn't help you one bit. You usually can't even make an educated guess since many of the brand names look nothing like the generic name and give no hint as to what kind of drug it is. Everyone was very quiet after the exam, with the exception of the people asking what the process for remediation was. It was bad. Well, the exam itself was fair, but I think most of us realized that we had focused on the wrong things during our studying, or that we had not spent enough time studying. I think the fact that the average grade of 67.5% (after three questions were thrown out) speaks for itself. One of my classmates posted the below gif to sum up our feelings about taking the exam. 

The Tumblr "I Prefer You Call Me Doctor" posted this with the caption "What happened during the exam again?" and it's a pretty accurate representation of the pharmacology exam.

     I still love October. I still love PA school. I'm still ready to put in the hard work to do this thing. However, this month has been both tough and enlightening as I've more fully realized just how much effort PA school requires. I still think my bio prof's advice was correct, but I also think that I'm going to have to cut back more on non-school activities, or get more creative about how I balance school and relaxation. The magic of technology means I can listen to past lectures while I drive, and going for a walk (like my expedition to Winter Island today) can serve the multiple purposes of getting exercise, enjoying nature, reviewing lectures, and studying in a new location. Of course, going for a walk doesn't always count as relaxation if it leads me through the hordes of tourists in downtown Salem, but that problem will be gone soon enough. :) 

My thoughts whenever I'm in downtown Salem this month.

Diving In

The original MCPHS building. When they needed to upgrade the facilities they decided to simply build around it rather than tearing it down, which I think is pretty nifty.

          I can’t believe it’s already October. It seems like I just arrived in MA a week ago, and I’m already approaching the one-month mark for classes. I’m really glad that I had just over a week to settle in to my new place and job before classes started, because once they did, life started getting busy. Classes started on Sep. 4 and my first exam (genetics) was on the 16^th. Then, in the last week I had an exam on Wednesday (primary care psychiatry), another on Friday (pharmacology), and a third on Monday (pathophysiology). I sort of shut off from the outside world during that and then had quite a decompression day after the last exam. That didn’t last too long though because I had a group presentation today (ethics and issues of PA practice) and my second genetics exam is next Monday. Fun times.

Stress relief: baking!

Aside from studying for exams, these last few weeks my focus has been on adjusting to the PA program, and just being back in school. Even though I did an EMT program and genetics course last fall, the set up then was a bit different from normal, so it has taken a little while to get back into the swing of classes, homework, and the balancing act with work. Since all the PA students take classes together, we don’t pick our schedule or classes. The program coordinators figure it all out and we just go where they tell us. This term I only have classes three days each week, and on Mondays and Fridays I usually only have one class because two of the classes scheduled for those days are partially or completely online. It’s nice to have two short days, but this does mean that Wednesdays are loooong. With the exception of one hour for lunch, I have classes from 10am to 6pm. Most of my classes are 1-2 hours, but my last one on Wednesdays is 3 hours. I’m not sure who thought it would be a good idea to put the longest class at the end of the longest day, but it’s not a scheduling move I’d recommend. The saving grace is that this class is one of the most interesting and the teacher is interesting, informative and hilarious. She’s also pretty good at timing our mid-class break so we can refresh ourselves and come back ready for more.

Having fun despite being shutout from Mixfest

Life hasn’t been completely all work and no play for me, thankfully. My apartment mate and I went apple-picking at the beginning of September and have been enjoying homemade apple goodies ever since. Then a few Saturdays ago some friends and I attempted to go to Mixfest in Boston. I say attempted because there were too many Backstreet Boys fans who got there ahead of us and we weren’t able to get close enough to really hear or see the concerts so we left, but we still had a fun evening walking around Boston. The next weekend my parents were able to come for a visit, so I got to do a bit more playing. They came into Boston with me on Friday so we could explore once I got out of class. We went to look at the lovely church I can see on my walk to school, then walked everywhere, from MCPHS to the Fens to Fenway Park to the Prudential Center to Copley Square to the Public Gardens and the Commons, until eventually I gave my tired parents a break and we took a T into the North End rather than walking there as well. All our walking was rewarded by some delicious Italian food and cannolis. The next morning I was supposed to work, but I was able to switch shifts and get the entire Saturday free. We had lots of ideas of things we could do, and it was hard to choose, but we ended up going to Portsmouth, NH. Not only was it a lovely and fun town, but we arrived in the middle of some sort of fairy festival and were soon surrounded by small children wearing fairy wings and building fairy houses. On the way back to Salem we stopped in to J.T. Farnham’s in Essex to get some fabulous seafood. All in all it was a wonderful weekend and a nice break before the craziness of exam week. 

Everyone loves cannolis

This month should be interesting. Now that exams have started, I probably won’t have quite as much time for exploring and hanging out with friends, but I knew that was coming. Some of the second year PA students have said that October is the month when the first years start crying. We’ll see how accurate that is. Thankfully the weather’s been nice and there’s a nearby park that is quite nice for studying, so I can at least get some sun and fresh air while I’m reading and cramming away. On the plus side my White Coat Ceremony is just over a week away, so I’ll soon look like a legitimate health care provider. As to work, that should be interesting too because October is tourist month. We’ve already started to get some fun foreign coins in the tip jar and yesterday was the first time I had to give detailed directions to the Salem Commons. It sounds like it could be stressful, but at least my coworkers are chill, tips are good, and my manager is trying to keep things light and fun by having costume days on the weekends. Now, for the first time in years, I actually have to figure out a Halloween costume. Should be fun.